“We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.”
Mahatma Gandhi
A few days ago I was paid a compliment on Twitter that I’ve been thinking a lot about. At risk of looking like a showoff, I’d like to share the interaction with you because it’s a really good example of what I want to talk about today.
Here it is:
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.jsHonestly I wonder the same thing. That's why I try to be over the top open and honest and caring on here, because the world needs more of it 😊
— Ian Weir (@ianweirwriter) March 11, 2021
Ok, so let’s ignore the part about me being the “nicest human ever” (because I’m definitely not), and focus on the second question and my response. If you pull out the smileys and the compliments, the conversation boils down to two main points which I think are super important.
They are:
- Why aren’t people nicer to each other
- I don’t know, so I’m just gonna be nice
Today I want to share with you what Twitter and this blog have taught me about being nice. Spoiler: It’s a lot, but it was by no means natural.
See, the thing is, a lot of what I do on Twitter is specifically calculated to be extra nice. Or at least it started that way. I go out of my way to pay compliments, to freely and openly “like” and share other people’s work, and to do basically anything I can to be a light for people. That’s also why I started this blog. The way I see it, there’s entirely enough darkness and anger in the world, so I’m gonna put as much good out there as I can.
But the weird thing –and by weird, I mean super cool– is that that overly sunny outlook and disposition is starting to be less of something I have to work to do, and more and more of who I am.
It started as a side effect of trying to find positive and uplifting blog post topics twice per week.
In the very beginning –before I got on Twitter– when only like three people per week were seeing my posts (thanks Mom!), I had to work really hard to come up with ideas. But after a couple of weeks I started to notice that my overall outlook was changing. Things seemed better, I was spending more time with my wife and less time isolated, and I was more able to look past all the dark in the world and see the nice things. And on top of that, I was more easily able to come up with post ideas! It was great! That small yet deliberate decision to look for positive things had started making a huge impact on my life.
But then I got on Twitter and the change accelerated. Fast.
At first, I had planned to use Twitter only as a way to promote the blog. I was going to post about it, promote it on the incessant “#writerslift” advertising threads, and interact professionally with people as “Ian the nice blogger guy.” That plan didn’t last long. Once I started to interact with the other writers and authors on the platform I started to get more comfortable, to make real friends, and to become a part of the community. Only now, being “Ian the nice blogger guy” had opened the door for me to continue to feel comfortable with being super nice and open with everyone all the time. Its a refreshing, if totally unexpected, change.
And now that niceness is starting to translate into my real, offline, life as well. I now find myself looking at other people differently and from a more positive perspective. I’m more patient, more complimentary, and more willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. The habits I forced myself to build as “Ian the nice blogger guy” are now just my habits, and that’s changing my entire outlook on life. How cool is that?
So here’s my challenge to you: try to be “the nicest human”. If that’s hard –and it probably will be– fake it. Go out of your way to voice every nice thing you think about the world, about other people, about someone’s shoes, whatever, just put the good out there. I’m willing to promise you that if you do it for a week you won’t have to act quite so much. After two weeks it will feel natural. And after a month you’ll be looking for ways to do it more–because you’ll want to.
Thanks for reading, you’ve got this,
-Ian
I wonder the same thing all the time! Especially on social media people can be so mean but when I started blogging I met so many kind souls💗
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Right?! People can be so supportive in this community 😊
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Love love love! This post is wonderful and I feel the same way too. Where are all the nice caring people that say they will show up when you need them? (crickets lol). I’m not a huge fan so social media because it is a platform that can quickly become toxic within a matter of seconds. However, ever since I started my blog and the support I get from my writing community over in Twitter has truly been a breath of fresh air and very uplifting. Thanks for sharing.
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I’m so glad you enjoyed it! This really is such a great community, and I really want to thank you for always taking time to be a part of the little one I’m creating here 😊
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Great post Ian. There’s definitely a very valuable lesson to be found in positivity – even if it’s on social media! Pull it through into your offline life and growth is the result. Nice read, thanks!
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Thanks, man! Glad you enjoyed it!
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This post…you basically nailed so much of what’s wrong and what’s hurting in our world today. We stopped being nice to each other. I’m so lucky to have you as a Twitter friend.
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I feel the same way 😊
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Well said Ian! I always wonder why it’s so hard for people to be nice to others!
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It’s so weird! It’s just so much happier and overall to be nice to people hahaha
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This post is very motivational and warms my heart, and I think we should stay positive and notice all those positive things that surround us in life. I agree that being nice becomes a habit. Thanks for a great post!
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It’s great how our behaviour and what we write online has benefits transferring to the real world. Most of the stuff I write is just reminders to myself hoping it rubs off. Luckily since writing regularly I feel a more positive, better person, which I wouldn’t be with this outlet!
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I totally agree. Most of what I write is just me talking to myself, everything else that comes with it is secondary.
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It’s always wonderful to be recognized as a nice person. It happens to me once in a while. But I also think I do have my downs once in a while and I do wonder where can the other nice people be. This would be a greater World 🌍 if all people would be nice & just.
Thanks for sharing your experience!
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Thank you so much for reading!
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Yes! I love this post! It really is so important to try and be the nicest person you can be. Kindness costs nothing, takes no effort and yet can mean the world to someone. You will never know the impact of a kind word so should do it as much as is possible 😍 From the interactions I’ve had with you I think you are genuinely lovely! So stay that way 🥰
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Preach!! I’m so glad you enjoyed it 😊
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I love this! Being kind is the most important thing as you never know what anyone is going through xx
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I agree! Thank you for reading!
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I really love this post. I completely agree that there needs to be more nice people in the world!! I did the same thing, came to twitter only for my blog, but like you, as the weeks went on I made actual friends and genuine connections. Thanks for sharing a great post!!
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I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading 😊
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Great article Ian! It is easy to be nice, when you practice being nice. Kindness is a blessing this way, a blessing unto ourselves.
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Very very true 😊
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Nice post! Joining blogging and writing communities on Twitter made me discover welcoming, nice, positive and supportive people. I didn’t expect it and I really enjoy it. Now I spent more time on Twitter than any other social media because I found something there that I don’t get anywhere else. I believe that in life we receive what we give, but we have to give without any expectation and just let the universe do the rest. Thanks for sharing your experience. It was refreshing.
Corinne
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I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I’m finding the same thing about the community on Twitter and I really like it
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Love this! I truly believe kindness is such an underestimated thing that holds such an impact. So many of us would benefit some consciously practicing it like you have ❤️
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I’m so glad you enjoyed it 😊
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I love this take. I made this same initial shift on twitter from writerslifts and promotion to spending more time interacting with people and doing my best to be positive and uplifting. And I say if we’re putting in a little effort to be nicer than comes naturally, so what? Our world is desperately lacking in kindness, particularly online. Treating others well fills you up, fills them up, and tends to spread, so I say let’s go for it!
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Exactly! There’s really now downside
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What a lovely, uplifting post! I love the positivity – wouldn’t it be nice if everyone just behaved this way? Thanks for sharing. ☺️
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I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading!
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I loved this so much. You really are such an inspiration. I could not agree more with your message. When I was a little girl, I was always focused on the negatives. I would come home from school & tell my mom everything wrong that happened that day. After a little while, challenged me that for every bad thing I told her about, I had to tell her five positive things that happened. This simple exercise literally changed my outlook on life for the rest of my life. Forcing myself to focus on the positives made me a naturally more positive person. Now, I think I will accept your challenge to try to become a kinder person as well. Thank you for your encouragement & inspiration!
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That’s a wonderful way to move about the world. I also created a Twitter account to promote my blog, but I try to use it to interact with people as well. I think it’s more important to be engaging than it is to mindlessly advertise. I want to be seen as a person, and not just another page on the internet.
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I totally agree! Thank you so much for reading 😊
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This is a wonderful post! So true, and I think if more people were like you and spreading kindness, not just Twitter but the world would be a nicer place! It’s sad, but when a ‘troll’ writes something nasty, it can really get you down, so to be kind is so important as you say, you might be making someone’s day! 😁 Will follow your blog in future thanks 👍
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Thank you so much!! I’m so glad you enjoyed it 😊
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Great post and I totally relate.
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Thank you for reading!
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I love this! Changing your outlook really does make things feel easier – creativity seems to flow when we focus on the good.
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I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Great post! I always say (and many other too) that kindness costs nothing! It feels good to be a good human and be nice to people. Side note, my husband and I are currently watching a show on Netflix called The Good Place and it’s about a girl who isn’t so nice who then turns nice because she forces herself to and it eventually just becomes who she is. It’s a nice story 🙂 Glad it’s helped you in your real life too!
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Thank you so much 😊
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hey that’s my tweet! haha! great post as always!
being authentic on the blog & on social media is so important to me because i always thought people will read into the fakeness eventually anyway.
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Exactly! 😊
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This post made me think a lot, I enjoy reading your posts😌 I am actually going to try being super nice , it is definitely going to be hard especially when you deal with people you know have a issue with you but like you said eventually the being nice and creating those positive habits will become a routine, feel natural and change my outlook on life.
I think this change would go along with they saying,” you can only change how you respond” we do need more nice people in the world but we can’t make people be nice.
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Call me a cynic but I found your post to be rather shallow. 🤷🏽♀️ It is my humble opinion, that this life we must aspire to find balance. Not all things are daises and roses. That’s asinine. I believe there is more value in authenticity then calculated soothing lies. Emotions, whether they be happy, angry, sad, or indifferent, all have a purpose. They are not good or bad. They just are. And I would like to point out the idea that there is a big difference between being nice and being kind. Nice is superficial. Kindness is genuine. Just food for thought. 🤷🏽♀️
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This is an amazing message to spread. You touched on something I care a lot about and I found this post to be an enjoyable read. I am thankful to know someone as kind as you!
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Thanks, Brianna 😊
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This is a great article! It’s true how when you begin to focus on either positives or negatives, you start to see more of them in life. I do my best to focus on the positives, it isn’t always easy, but it does help brighten life, for myself and others as well.
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I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
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